Feeling Like You're Not Enough? My experiences and tips for changing your story. | 72
Sometimes I go through thought patterns where I don't feel like I am enough. I am sure you can relate. Maybe it’s feeling not good enough or not worthy enough or not loveable or just not enough, but it’s a recurring story that you tell yourself. Honestly, as my business has grown, I’ve noticed that this recurring thought pattern is a wall that I bump up against every single time I grow or hit a new level.
New level — SAME devil 😒
In this episode, we talk about how these negative thought patterns could be holding you back from moving forward in your business.
Here are my tips for conquering these thought patterns.
Acknowledge the story
this will help you understand how it affects you and where the blocks truly lie
it is the first step in realizing it doesn’t need to continue being your story going forward
Start writing your NEW story
this is an important, but challenging, step in the process
slowly over time as you repeat your new story again and again it will become more natural… more internalized.
Plus, I threw in some actionable mindset tips for growing beyond not feeling like you are enough
these are the exact steps I’ve taken to start the journey to STOPPING the negative spiral and changing the narrative in my life.
Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @heyitsjenzaia and tune in next Saturday for more business tips and strategies!
xo, Jenzaia
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Episode Transcript:
Jenzaia: Hey there, I'm Jenzaia and this is Market Scale Grow. A podcast created for ambitious teacherpreneurs looking to have a bigger impact on the world, achieve freedom, flexibility, and ultimately make more money. With weekly strategy sessions and inspiring stories from fellow teachers just like you. My goal here is to help you create a customized marketing strategy. So you can grow your teacher business beyond your wildest dreams.
Jenzaia: Okay, so before we hop into the episode, I just want to remind you to download my free guide to Facebook targeting audiences. It has been created specifically for teacher business owners, and I go through the warm lookalike and cold interest-based audiences that you need to have set up to be running Facebook and Instagram ads, there are checklists and brainstorming pages so that you know it, you have everything. But as an exciting special, I'm opening up some audience audit calls where you can hop onto a 15-minute zoom call with me, and you'll get my eyes on your audiences so that you can make sure not only you have all the audiences, but they truly are perfect for your business. So head to marketscalegrow.com/audienceaudit to book your free audience audit call today. Okay, now into the episode.
Jenzaia: Hello, and welcome to Market Scale Grow. My name is Jenzaia and this is a Saturday Strategy Session today, we're actually going to be taking a break from a marketing strategy and Facebook ad strategy and we are going to be talking about some mindset stuff because it's like super real in my life right now. And so I just feel like this is one of those, I don't know who needs to hear it. But I'm gonna say it. So a reoccurring theme that has been coming up for me a lot is feeling like I'm not good enough feeling like I'm not capable enough. I'm not skilled enough, I'm not smart enough. And maybe those are some of the feelings that you're feeling. And maybe that's part of the story you've been telling yourself. But it also could be more of like, I'm not loved enough, or I'm not lovable. I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough. I'm not fill in the blank enough, really. And I think that it's really important to acknowledge the stories that we've told ourselves, because it can be part of what is keeping you where you're at in your business. So for me personally, I found that feeling like I'm not good enough, often comes up in a couple of different ways. So number one, when things are really going bad, or when there's a hard time, if somebody's Facebook ad campaign isn't doing what we want it to do, then my default is that I don't have enough information. I don't actually know what I'm doing. I'm not a trained Facebook professional, despite the fact that I take in like 10 different courses. And I'm currently taking two different courses. The second time is when my period is a real. I know this is such a girl problem, right? But part of like the hormones and the fluctuations that I personally experienced, leave me sometimes feeling like I'm not good enough, or just like really frustrated. And then the third one is when I'm stressed in general. So part of my story that I've told myself since I was a child, is this not being good enough. And so when either I'm tired, or I'm stressed or things are really hard. For other unrelated things, that story comes back instantly. And because I'm tired, or I'm stressed or sick, or whatever it might be, it's a lot harder for me to, quote unquote, snap out of it. And I do not think you should deal with it by just like snapping out of it. Like if you feel that you are not lovable. You can't just like, snap out of it. Right? So what are my actual tips. So my first tip is to write it all out. I took a program with Sabrina Philip, and one of the exercises that she had us do was to think about the earliest memory that you have of this feeling, and then to write out every single memory that you have of that feeling going forward.
Jenzaia:Now I'm not going to go through my whole story, but my first memory of not being good enough is coming home with tests when I was in elementary school and my mom would jokingly say, that's all you got, why didn't you do better? That's not good enough, which translated in my mind to you're not good enough. Now the craziest part about these not good enough and I'm putting that in quotations is that I was an A an A plus student I was getting 90 or 100 on these tests, and she was looking for bonus points like just Got a thing, right? And so I was doing well, and she was joking, but it just wasn't coming across as a joke, right? So my first tip is to write it all out and then go through your story line by line, like cross it out explaining why that's just not true, right. So I did this in a Google Doc, and I use the comment feature. So I wrote out my whole story and then I just like put a comment for every single thing, and just explained why it wasn't true. And that was really helpful. And like having that evidence counteract, it just really, really helped me see the bigger picture and looking back of my experience now and who I am now, how it was shaped by that. So that's number one.
Jenzaia: Number two, is to remember that we write our own stories. So this is the first chapter of the rest of your life. And you can continue to live the exact same story you've been living or you can start to rewrite a new one. So deciding what your new story is deciding how you want to go, move forward, and to start living your life that way, one action one step one piece at a time. And this can be hard and you will backslide. 100%. Like I said, when I'm tired or stressed or sick, or things are just going really, really badly, I backslide immediately. But what you'll start to do, as you're rewriting your story is that you'll start to catch yourself sooner, you'll start to stop the spiral sooner, and you'll start to move forward sooner. And so over time, it'll happen less and less frequently. One really good example of this, I used to bite my nails constantly. And one day, I decided that I was going to stop biting my nails. And then like two hours later, I realized I was biting my nails. And I was like, Oh, you don't bite your nails anymore, right. And then another hour went by and I was biting my nails again, ah, you don't bite your nails anymore. But I actually don't remember the last time I was biting my nails anymore, right? Because slowly over time, I became more and more aware of it, and I would correct it. And then it was a longer stretch before the next time I did it. And then I recognized it. And that's how this is going to happen with your thoughts in your mind patterns is that at first is going to keep happening. But every single time you catch yourself, it will help for the next time for it to happen less often. And for it to be a longer stretch until it happens again, that's my second tip. And then my third one is rooting yourself in gratitude. And so I do some gratitude journaling a couple times a week, I want to say like every day, but 100% is not every day. And we've started to incorporate it in to mealtime with our children. And we just asked them what they're thankful for. And they it's super cute, because they'll say that they're thankful for their stuffed animals or they're thankful for the food that they're eating right then in there because well, it's in front of them. And my daughter notoriously says that she's thankful for baby rhino, which is her she is baby rhino. My son is big, big, big blue dark Rhino. And she's baby rhino. And so she always says I'm thankful for baby rhino. So it's really, really cute. But then they'll turn around, especially my son and they'll say mama, what are you thankful for? Daddy, what are you thankful for? So it's become kind of like a family thing that we do. And I found that rooting myself and rooting the family in gratitude in having that practice is another way that I pull myself out of it. So especially when I'm stressed or I'm sick, or I'm having those feelings of not being good enough just remembering what I'm thankful for can help to switch perspective, I also think that it's important to recognize these feelings, that they're valid feelings. And that is your story, though it does not need to continue going forward, that your story is your story. And it is your journey. And it is okay. Right? Like you shouldn't be made to feel like having those feelings makes you a bad person or that it's wrong. And I think for a long time, that's how I felt is that because I don't feel like I'm good enough. That makes me not a good person or like I'm not as good as other people. And I'm not worthy of whatever it might be because I don't think I'm good enough, right? Even though there is evidence Oh, and this is another really good one actually, there's evidence and again and again and again. And I could collect tons of evidence of times that I have been good enough in campaigns that I've Facebook campaigns that I've run that are good enough and that are getting amazing results and that I've been able to find a problem and fix the problem and then the campaign went from you. We don't want this to amazing results. Right? And so that's another strategy is to to find evidence that counters the story that you've been telling yourself because the more you can see the truth or see the positive see that you are good enough see that you are loved see that you are worthy, you are smart enough you are beautiful. The more you can see that the more true it becomes in your mind. And so that's what this whole process is about right is to take what you're currently telling yourself and to change it in and make it become the story you want it to be.It is your story is your journey. And well, there's not much we can do about the past, the future is out there. And it's just waiting for you to decide how it's gonna go down and for you to make those changes and for you to start telling yourself the story that you want. So sorry that this wasn't a Facebook ad strategy episode, but it has been on my mind and it has been how I've been feeling and I just thought that it'd be really valuable and maybe it's exactly what you needed to hear today. So I will be back next week. And I promise that next week will be an ad strategy session.I hope you have a wonderful week and send me a DM on Instagram, I'm @heyitsjenzaia especially with love to hear from you if that this was a powerful episode for you. So again, thanks for listening and I will be back next Saturday.
Jenzaia: Thank you so much for listening to market scale grow. If you're ready to build your email list and generate consistent leads on autopilot, then we would love to partner with you. Our growth package is perfect for course creators, service riders, and coaches looking to inject their list with fresh leads so that they can amplify their amazing program and get it out to new people. This six-week package is perfect for you. If you have a proven lead magnet that you're ready to turn into an established lead generation machine. To get started today, head to marketscalegrowth.com/worktogether, fill out the application and someone from my team will be in contact with you to schedule a free strategy session to ensure that it's a good fit and to get you on the path to consistent lead generation with Team JD. Thank you again for listening and I look forward to working with you